The self is me. It’s my self. Who else could it be? That would be the logical answer, if you took a poll on the street. Right?
But after that initial duh moment, there’s a whole lot more to delve into. If you’re spiritually inclined, maybe you’d go on to split that me up into a Higher Self—some sort of perfect, other, divine, floaty-cloudy, future wisdom self—and a lower self. The one you are right now.
Ok, sure. But can we go deeper still? Is there more we can discover, beyond those first answers? Let’s find out.
A greater self
What IS that greater self? Is it the beyond-perfect Higher Self we just talked about? If so, what’s it made of? And how does this so-called greater self relate to the limited, everyday self I think of as me? Is there any connection between one and the other?
I will give you the clearest description I can, of what I’m referring to here, as the greater self. (I’ll call it the capital ‘S’ Self, going forward, to differentiate it from the more limited me-self.)
To do this, I’ll share with you a brief historical moment of my own:
40-odd years ago, during a period of intense turmoil, I was on a desperate, prayerful search for some kind of light in the darkness. Some kind of help or wisdom…when without warning, I was suddenly catapulted back in time, to relive my own birth.
I saw, in realtime, those emergency events through my own eyes, as the soon-to-be-born infant I was at the time. The events themselves were eye-opening (and explained a lot about my then-present day grownup issues). But I was equally stunned to experience myself in my unborn state.
Because, to my great surprise, I was me. Not some sort of empty vessel waiting to be filled, as I’d always assumed babies to be.
I felt, in fact, exactly like my grownup self: I possessed full awareness, full intelligence, along with that subtly individuated quality of consciousness that I recognized unmistakably as me.
What this infant-me didn’t have was life experience. No baggage, beliefs, opinions, accomplishments, or pasted-on identities like Sister, Artist, Misfit, or whatever. No life traumas either (save that first crucial one I was in the middle of experiencing). Nor had I yet developed any armor to cover those wounds.
But there was something more going on here. Something subtle that I couldn’t put my finger on: This infant-self was not only empty of baggage, but was dwelling in some kind of state of timeless equanimity.
Yet still recognizably me.
So that’s basically the Self we’re talking about here. It’s the clean, stripped down essence of you; a definitely wiser or loftier you…and yet it’s the you that you can actually recognize as yourself.
(Hang on a minute. Isn’t that Big ‘S’ Self supposed to be divine? Limitless? Perfect and eternal?) Well, yes. Yes it is. It’s all of that and more.
But that’s too much for our limited self to even comprehend: (How long is eternity? How big is limitless?) much less dive into. So let’s go slow and easy, only taking on a smidgen of the Big ‘S’ Self: The aspect of Self that’s in our immediate vicinity. Never venturing too far from home base. K?
There is a field. I’ll meet you there
If you’re up for it, we’ll go exploring a little. Into the somewhat bigger, slightly vaster field of you.
The spacious awareness that you are.
Some have called this field the sea of awareness. It’s a useful description, as long as we remember it’s not really anything separate from us. Because in this exploration, the sea of awareness easily reveals itself to be made out of you.
Easily? (One eyebrow raised.)
Yeah, I know. A lifetime of hard spiritual slogging would suggest such a thing can’t possibly be true. But exploration of the Self is only a struggle when attempted through the lens of the small ‘s’ self. Which is the way we usually do it.
The trick here is to experience the so-called sea of awareness from its own perspective. Not from your small ‘s’ perspective.
(Sounds hard, but it actually isn’t. We’ll talk in more depth about this in a minute.)
To begin with, let’s re-frame what the small ‘s’ self is, here. Think of the small ‘s’ you as nothing more than a concentration of densely focused matter. Kind of like a very small planet in a very big universe.
Over the course of your life, your baggage—the good, bad and ugly—accumulates and orbits around this concentrated ‘you-planet’ like so much space junk.
The surrounding universe (the sea of awareness), is always present, and always silently cradling the planet, and its junk.
Through habit, we tend to see life from the perspective of this concentrated focalpoint planet. We identify so strongly with this planetary body, the small ‘s’ self…that we think the little planet is what we are.
We habitually do this, instead of seeing life from the universe’s perspective. Even though the universe is actually what we are.
I don’t mean to minimize or trivialize the powerful force of this small-self identification habit, by the way; think of it as being akin to a drug habit.
In a drug habit, there are actual brain and body chemicals at play, not just habitual behaviors—all of which makes it damn difficult to kick the habit and walk away. Even if you want to.
Similarly here, we’ve historically been subject to the strong magnetism generated by this ‘me-planet.’ It’s not easy to move beyond such a potent gravitational force; many of us have tried and failed a thousand times.
We’re all in the habit of giving in to its magnetic pull.
So here we are, identifying with, and acting from, the perspective of the little planet. And from this dense place, trying to experience ourselves as the larger Self…well, it feels like work. Right?
The very attempt can generate fear and internal resistance, to the idea of meeting this dauntingly greater Self. And even if it doesn’t…we’re still not likely to have a natural, effortless, easy-peasy recognition of the larger Self, as the exact same self that we already are.
Because the concentrated-me-planet-self just doesn’t see it that way. It can’t.
But when viewed from the larger perspective of the surrounding ‘universe,’ we instantly see that the Self is not a stranger. It’s just…you. Just me.
How comfortable and familiar and easy is that.
So let’s go hang out in the expansiveness of the (somewhat) larger field of our own Self. (The small ‘s’ self, is still there, by the way. Right in the middle of the field. Doing its thing, as always.)
A few easy steps
This is a super simple exercise. I realize it’s not so easy to read and meditate at the same time (!) so just read through the rest of the post, and then try this on you’re own, if you’d like to. Here are the steps:
In whatever way feels right to you, relax and bring your awareness to the energy field surrounding yourself; it extends about 3 feet in every direction. (It doesn’t matter if you can feel it there or not.)
When you’re ready, relax some more, and expand your awareness a little wider beyond that. And then a little wider still. Go spacious.
And now here’s the radical bit: Choose the spaciousness. Make the decision right then and there.
As in: Do I choose to identify with the small me-planet in the middle, like I usually do? Or with this spacious field that’s all around it?
Decide that the spaciousness is what you are. See if you can actually identify with it, resting in it. Recognizing it as yourself.
That’s it. 3 little steps, incredibly profound, and well within your skillset.
That’s right. It may not feel like it, but this choice to identify with spaciousness is actually within every human being’s skillset right now.
I’ll go back to the drug habit example to explain why.
Let’s say you’re a smoker with a 2 pack a day habit. You tried to quit a few years back, but couldn’t.
Without you realizing, somebody has been quietly replacing the tobacco in your cigarettes with cabbage leaves. Just a little at first, then more and more over time. You noticed of course—they don’t taste the same as they used to. But you assume it’s you; your tastebuds have gone all funny.
And now we’re at a point where your cigarettes are entirely filled with natural, organically grown cabbage. No chemicals, no nicotine, no pesticides or preservatives or conditioners or whatever else is in that crazy cocktail that ends up in regular cigarettes.
So there’s nothing physically addictive whatsoever in the cigarette itself anymore. All that remains is the firm belief in addiction, based on historical experience…and the powerful allure of the lingering emotional habit:
Smoking signals that it’s break time. Having a cigarette always calms me down. A cup of coffee wouldn’t be the same without it. Or whatever.
So.
A similar thing has been going on with your little me-planet.
For years now, it’s been slowly losing its gravitational pull. These days, in fact, the small ‘s’ self has no gravity field of its own at all.
At all.
But it sure as hell doesn’t feel like that, does it? Because the emotional habit of giving in to it, coupled with the belief in its invincible magnetic power, are both forces to be reckoned with.
And yet there’s actually nothing there.
So. Bottom line is, we can make a different choice, you and me. So let’s do it. Purely for the purposes of this exploration, we can temporarily decide to identify with the larger vastness of our Big ‘S’ Self. We decide that’s actually what we are.
This moment of choosing the reality of the larger Self, automatically shows us two things:
The fog instantly clears, and we can feel firsthand, that the vast sea of the Self is actually just…me. Not some intimidating foreigner.
And
The other thing that happens, is that by making this higher, more truth-aligned choice, we are automatically lifted high above the frequency level where the me-planet-self operates. Beyond our lingering belief in its gravitational forces, in other words.
So although the small-planet self is definitely still here, right in the middle as ever, you’ll find you’re suddenly not subject to any of its shenanigans. No fears, no resistance, no distractions, no historical pain or limiting beliefs are operating.
By the very act of choosing the identity of the greater Self as your own (however temporarily or incompletely) you’ve automatically risen far above the level of the orbiting space junk. It doesn’t even exist, from this vantage point.
AND in the absence of its orbiting baggage, the small ‘s’ self is plainly revealed as being made of the exact same Self.
The exact. same. Self.
Let’s pause and feel the hush, here.
We’re in the presence of something sacred. We’re in the presence of YOU.
This is what the self—and the Self—is, really.
How simple. How profound.
Easy and natural, because this is actually your true way of being.
Effortless, because it’s just you, being you.
Nothing more. And nothing less.